Kristina Furey

"#17A" (Part II) "She's Come Undone-Randy Bachman

I think I bit off more than I could chew this week and to make things equally frustrating, I was sick this week.  Feeling better currently.  So, finally today, I got an opportunity to work on this song I’ve been thinking about since last weeks blog, when I mentioned Pollock’s “Number 17A” and how life, like art, is constantly inspired from and being built on what has already entered our world through our consciousness.  This particular song arrived in my head with a visual of violent paint splatters on a pristine, white canvas, adolescent rebellion, in fits of anger brought on by just a taste of that fruit of knowledge and the realization, that not only were their parents not God, all knowing and full of grace but also, how power was wielded in such a way that a child would be left, fooled and bearing the burden.   I had concerns for what I felt my brother had experienced and felt I was staring at this real life example of a sacrificial lamb.  I felt powerless and disgusted and I agonized over how we stop something in motion that allows us to feed our loved ones to it.  It occurred to me that we only vomit up what we eat.  We only play out what has been placed in our consciousness.  I did not know at the time, the concept of transcending.  The idea we could choose to release our pain over to the universe (just let it go) rather than pay it forward to the next unsuspecting soul.  I didn’t really even understand that our thoughts are just thoughts.  Thoughts are just proof that at some point in time, they were introduced to us but they have no power over us, unless we choose to give them our power.  I felt strongly something was very wrong.  I was mentally troubled and saw my brother as very vulnerable and in a precarious place.   Which put me in line right behind him.  I saw dominoes falling, set in place before he or I ever arrived.  I was furious.  It was extreme drama and angst that went into this song.  Perhaps overkill, akin to when someone yells because they don’t think they are being heard not because they haven’t been.  

This is a poor (rough) example of what the song could be for sure.  I hope in time to get it right.  Currently, the goal is just to get my songs sketched out as best I can.  I expect when I become more certain which songs to record and which songs belong in the musical, I am working towards, I will know if I should hire someone to show me a better way to play my songs or get help composing.  I have had a very temporary feeling since losing my family members.  So it seems important to me to get my songs to a place where someone else could pick up where I have left off, just in case.     

Let me add, I am okay, despite my dramatic song and blog to match and my being sick this past week.  I am feeling better.  That said, I will most likely not have the opportunity to post next week.  It's a full week for me and a lot of time to be spent on the road.  So, till next time. take care, of yourself and each other!  <3


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