Kristina Furey

"All Along The Watch Tower"-Bob Dylan

Have you ever met someone and just been totally enchanted by their presence?  It is such a delightful and unexpected experience, I wish everyone could have, at least a few times in their life! This particular experience was almost surreal, as I walked into her (the owner's) establishment for the very first time and felt such pure energy. Did it radiate from her or had I miraculously stumbled upon perhaps as many people as I had met with this kind of energy in my whole life, all in the same office? If I had to guess I would say she was the source and like strong negative energy does, so does strong positive energy, have the ability to change the tone of a room, the people that occupy that room and later those they come in contact with...

 

Now one day, I had an appointment with her, pretty early in the morning and I realized as I begun to get myself ready, I really needed to do laundry. And so it was, that I showed up for my appointment wearing this trendy article of clothing, I had bought on a whim, after convincing myself I had the shape to pull it off. Now it should be noted, I had this article of clothing for a couple of months and I hadn't chosen to wear it, wondering if I should, try to pull it off... but with no other options, on it went and off I went to my appointment. Did I mention the diversity of the women that worked in this office or that the beautiful woman I had the appointment with is Muslim?  Is there a reason I would bring that up? Christian, Jewish and Muslim women working so beautifully, harmoniously, together? The owner being Muslim? Okay well, on her being Muslim, probably because I believe they tend to dress a little more modestly than some of us... ahh-hem... me perhaps...

 

During this particular office visit she smiled all bright and warm upon me and I could feel that warmth as she began to discuss her daughter.  At some point it became evident to me, this conversation, had a particular point. Now I don't remember exactly how she said it but she used the term princess with her daughter and queen was the word she used for herself. In that moment, she shined so brilliantly, upon this seed she was carefully, kindly, respectfully planting, that something within me grew. I went home and put the outfit I had been wearing in the giveaway pile.

 

Now, If you happen to have seen the Easter episode (Season 3, episode 15) of "Life In Pieces" Samantha actually gives Sofia a similar yet much more direct speech that I absolutely loved. Check it out! This, just after Sophia foolishly tries to compete to be the cutest against her toddler cousin. Basically Samantha tells Sophia that when Sophia came along Samantha was no longer the cutest and she had to learn to find something else that she was good at or made her important and focus on that as a means of getting attention.  I did learn early on that I was no princess and needed to distract people from this by showcasing my positive attributes, which most often was just shining a light on other people. I will say some things I've learned, I have relearned, over and over again in my life. For me, some things just don't stick. Lucky for me, I am an enthusiastic student of life, definitely, maybe... hopefully, for sure!

 

Okay, huge jump here... I hope you are able to easily see the connection: Last year at this time, I was at my Mom's bedside, having just been made aware, that my mom was in fact, dying.  I don't know if you've ever experienced somebody looking you in the eye, pleading for something they never mention, as they cry, “I can't do this anymore!” over and over again.  That little 11 year-old girl inside of me, the one that was so heartbroken to learn her mother had left her and her family, was clawing inside me, trying to scramble to someplace safe and then the beautiful Muslim woman came to mind and guided me.  I was reminded that I am a queen and it is my duty to secure my people and rise above adversity. I'm not a princess or a lost little girl, though I may feel lost sometimes or wish for easier times, I may wish to be adored and catered to or I may find myself at times panicked over what may be... I am a Queen, which means I have a duty and must take a stand and secure my people and our future.

I can't tell you how much I miss my mother but I can tell you I am grateful for all the wonderful things she instilled and nurtured in me.  I am grateful that I was able to get her to a place where she would be taken care of by gentle, kind, loving people, until she passed. In the time it took her to pass, I did a lot of thinking about who I am and who I am not.  I'm not here to be a princess. I am here to help nurture and secure my people. My family first, which for me has always been the case because having experienced, while growing up, the breakdown of my own family, I understand the importance of family. So today, should you find me missing from certain places, it's because I'm trying to be careful, I'm trying to keep my own priorities straight and I'm trying to manage my own health, so that I can continue to secure my people.  In this regard, I am no different then who I have always been, the girl with the Foster siblings that watches over the other kids on the playground because she understands there's a lot of injustice going on and she's trying her best to shine a light on these things, so others may see, understand and be there, when she is not because she knows only too well that there is no promise of a tomorrow.  Now perhaps I am delusional but I have always seen all people as my people even when people tried so hard to convince me I needed to form a tribe. I needed to be against things and people. THAT, does not and has not ever fit me. I may be picky at times, critical, WRONG but I am not, against people. I am a person who believes in win/win and I believe when we don't incorporate win/win, everyone loses. Maybe not today but eventually it all comes back around.

 

Lastly, If you did not catch 60 minutes interview with Wim Wenders it is definitely worth checking out. He is the director for the movie, "A Man Of His Word" where he interviews Pope Francis. I bring this up because what the Pope addresses in this movie is much of what I contemplated as my mother lay dying.

"All Along The Watch Tower" --Jimi Hendrix

 

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