Kristina Furey

Just some random thoughts as I get ready to sleep

I'm visiting with family this week.  Last week my youngest was here on Spring Break.  We are like a revolving door for loved ones since last week and this will continue through mid-April.  I have been highly anticipating these visitors.  The hardest part of our move to Florida was being so far from our loved ones.  Not wanting to live so far away from them was a reason we stayed for so long.  Having loved and having to let go of my foster siblings as a child I would expect would have prepared me for the leaving and losing in life.  Having left friends practically overnight, at age 16, that I had grown up with since pre-school, again, I would have thought would have prepared me.  Having lost loved ones since, has only reminded me to cherish the moments I spend with those people that I develop close relationships with.  Savior those moments.  Life is constantly changing.  I know it sounds cliche but it doesn't feel cliche when you realize you will never see that person again, you will never again experience what they have been to you.  It doesn't feel cliche at all it can make you want to rage against anything and everything that you feel is responsible, anything you chose to put that blame on and if you're not careful, it can make you rage against yourself for everything  you didn't do when you had the chance.  If you're lucky you come to the acceptance that life plays out, with or without your participation.  Not choosing is choosing and choosing is really up to you.  I can't say it enough choose love!  Choose to read the whole story to your kid even when you don't think they'll notice if you don't.  Choose to be in time to eat dinner with your family.  Choose to work at and maintain your relationships consistently.  Communicate.  Apologize and understand that, apologies honestly given, are like band aids.  Do you need a band aid to heal?  Probably not but it makes the process easier and it makes us feel loved when someone takes the time to say, I know that hurts and we're going to patch you up.  It's also like a promise when you take responsibility for the hurt.  It doesn't have to be taking responsibility for anything more than that.  A simple "I'm sorry, I know that hurt you and I won't do that or let that happen again" says I don't want you to be hurt, I don't want to hurt you and I am working on helping you trust this world a little bit more by doing my best to see that doesn't happen again. 

Maybe, this is all coming out of left field but it's stuff I learned and I just don't want to see you blind sided by "inconvenience". Many of us go through life reacting to it, blaming others for it and refusing to take responsibility.  Life can be drastically different when you don't react.  <--This is something I have been working on for years.  Some days I'm golden and some days I'm reminded why reacting is not the best choice.  Taking responsibility doesn't have to mean you've done anything bad or wrong, it just means you are being proactive.  Much of the time, most people are clueless not by choice.  As Barenaked Ladies lyric goes, "It's your fate but not your fault"  <-- I love that line!  It's true about so many things and brings to mind Douglas Adams book "Life, The Universe And Everything" when he so humorously delivered God's message "Sorry for the inconvenience". 

Anyway, I am deliriously tired and as I sit down to share something in this blog this rant is the best I could come up with.  ;-)  This rant has been brought to you by the letter K and the number 2. Just



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