Kristina Furey

"Simply The Best" --Tina Turner

Very few people know this.  A year ago this week, Dan was taken to the hospital at 2am.  He was very sick and though he was released a few hours later, he spent at least a 24-hour period in bed.  In between grappling with my own fears, crying and grieving my mother's recent passing, I would check on him.  The few people I shared this experience with later, said things like, “you should have called me!” “I would have come.” The problem was I couldn't deal with it and I couldn't explain it to someone else, who has no experience of exactly where I have been or how my experiences have shaped me.  Most people have glimpses of us and most of those glimpses we allow, are carefully chosen, based on our relationship to that person and what we want them to know about us. We are creatures that edit ourselves based on our own perceptions of the other person. Our egos and our fears are often in control of the way we try to have others see us.   Even when we implement the editing action, precisely as we feel necessary, we still face the fact that the other person will see us based on their own perception, which really has nothing to do with us. Not wholly anyways. I have been heartbroken over this fact, too many times to bare the action of reaching out at certain moments. This was a lesson I learned the hard way, when I was young.  But the lesson has helped me manage my way through difficult times and walk bravely through the fear, allowing me to be, who I came to be. “You don't have to trust anyone but yourself. If you can trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way, you'll be okay”. I was trusting myself not to reach out because I knew disappointment in someone else at that crucial moment might have been more than I could bare and the only person that I could share with and know would relate to me and the way I needed to be related to, was in the bedroom trying to recover from a pretty horrific night.  

So why now?  Why share this?  Because if there was one message I would want to leave with people, it would be this, “Appreciate the people in your life”.  You never know when, “The last time, will be the last time, will be the very last time, you see somebody”. It is a strange world when strangers are kinder to people than their own family members are.  It is a sad world when we need to create a word like “Frenemy”. It is a confusing world when people think things or say things like “You should know it's sarcasm because it's not how I honestly feel”.  I witness this and I can't help but think the art of appreciation is in danger and perhaps many people lacking appreciation are too…

Yesterday morning, I saw this thing on Tina Turner on CBS and she spoke about her hardships and she spoke about her husband and his love for her and hers for him and how it has literally saved her life.  His love, his appreciation, I felt thankful for her that she finally got that from a man. She is, “Simply The Best” and certainly deserves it! It helped me understand why I needed to be alone that day Dan was so sick.  I needed a day to sit and think and appreciate, the wonderful man I have in my life!

 

Last night I was catching up on Season 4 of Schitt's Creek and like a magical force, sending this message home, Patrick serenaded David with a very different and equally wonderful rendition of "Simply The Best" I thought about a song I wrote for Dan, years ago, right before our anniversary. In honor of my appreciation for Dan, I figured I would share it, here.

Please don't lose the art of appreciation. Hold onto it with everything you have! I leave you with a link to one of the first cover songs Dan and I learned, "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson.

 

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