Kristina Furey

Starting Over

Tell us something interesting about yourself we don’t know?  That was the instruction last night during introductions at the Art Social I attended.  I didn’t tell them this.  I was saving it for you.  There was a reality show in 2004 called “Starting Over”.  I had watched it for a couple of years and I wanted to audition.  This Life Coach named Rhonda Britten was helpful with another singer and I thought “What If?”  So, I sent my audition tape.  I got a call and was asked to quickly fill out forms and get them back in.  There was an opening coming up.  I knew as I filled out the paperwork, I was blowing it, my chance at getting on the show.  I felt solely responsible for where I was in my life and felt I was the only one that needed to go through the work.  I did not want my family or parents brought in and I pretty much laid that out, in the forms.  I also had reservations about leaving my family, my youngest son especially.  They passed on me.  A little painful at the time but I got some form of validation from it and maybe that was all I really wanted.  But it did sting because I really wanted to work through what might be holding me back.   With that intention, I went to the local book store and came back with the book, “Change Your Life in 30 Days” by Rhonda Britton and it was a starting over point for me.  It was the beginning of me seeking out a recording studio guy that helped me get my song, “Life, Love and Laughter” recorded and he said, “Your husband plays guitar?  Get him to add some guitar licks.”  That was the first step of Dan helping me.  He could finally see, well actually hear my vision and jump on board.  As they say the rest is history!  I’ve taken a lot of tumbles since then, got the air knocked out of me, had my health take a tumble of it’s own.  I’ve been working on it.  It’s my health, my job to keep it up.  I am feeling a bit better since eliminating everything but meat, veggies, fruits and some oils.  Currently, I’m testing myself by adding gluten free, steel cut oatmeal back in, to see if I notice a reaction.  Something I will do with each food I have eliminated...  in time…   While I’m working on my health and getting results, I thought it would be a good time to revisit my Rhonda Britton book.  I’m only on day 6.  A interesting observation I've made is that I have 6 songs I've written, that correlate well enough with the 6 chapters, I've read so far.  It's as if they were written to go together.  Was I influenced? Not necessarily, since I wrote some before 2004.  However, I have found myself humming Colbie Caillat’s “Realize”,  a lot... that's interesting, I thought, when I caught on.   I definitely "realize" this quote from Rhonda tells exactly where I am currently, “I quit trying to be perfect and just spoke from the heart”.  That's my only road out and to getting back on track.  I can't even try to be perfect, it's like running in quicksand for me.  Best I can do is just be and hope that my being gives value.  The rest is too exhausting and I'm not even sure really appreciated. 

I’m hoping to find my way back to the ideas I had before I tumbled.  Mentally, I understand what I wanted to accomplish but the passion, the soul of it, seems to be missing.  I wanted to do something for girls in middle school that their mothers would also get something out of and maybe even their fathers.  I just saw the movie “Eighth Grade” this week and it stirred up a little of those feelings that originally led me to what I previously believed was a calling.  I've also been working on one of the songs I believed would fit the project.  Here's a link.  I tried to use techniques I learned about through Tom Jackson's Boot Camps, books and videos, while keeping in mind what I learned earlier this week on Hidden Brain in this podcast at minute 19:10.    At some point I hope to take these collections of songs and put them on CD, try out a one woman show or maybe move them into Dan's and my repertoire and create a looser version of a show but big picture is to create a musical with age appropriate girls playing the parts.  I imagine it could be like the Vagina Monologues but geared towards younger females, mother daughters, aunts, sisters and brave males.  I just imagine this event of unity and support.  Interactive in a way that helps significant female role models bond with their beloved young up and comers.  But I will start with keeping it simple, nurturing it and seeing what it becomes. 

 

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