Kristina Furey

Stream of consciousness

It's 3:34 a.m..  I've been up for about an hour.  Like SOS coming through the pipes of the house that houses a ham radio operating station.  SOS find a way SOS - find a way SOS - find a way.  Maybe it's not ham radio maybe it's my pulse is it my pulse SOS - find a way SOS - find a way and it's slowly slowly slowing down.  I think I can make out the message.  “Find peace.  You've already found dysfunction, chaos and death.   Your creative enough to not settle for this dischord”.  Am I?  Are we? I wonder…


Was I dreaming?  Michael Landon, Bill Bixby,  what did they mean to say to me before the dots, dashes and voices came through the Television where their voices would have been?  


Bill Cosby.  Can we through out the bath water without the baby?  I struggle with this.  How do we move forward?  If we don't do it carefully we are doomed to find ourselves here again and again but is there a way to surgically remove what doesn't work for us as a society without discarding life and knowledge.  Something created the circumstances that gave him the idea to do what he did.  Somehow he found his way down the path and no one along that path was there to shut it down or help him shut it down.  I keep thinking dark actions come from dark places with the trail maybe always leading back to the original place where the original dark action took place.  A place where the offender was the offended.   


I hope we are careful to look upon where we are as a society with eyes that seek solutions.  I don't believe in witch hunts.  We always seem to find what we are looking for even in places it doesn't exist.  Perhaps I look for solutions in places it doesn't exist but if that is the case I do it because personally I need to believe that there's more to life than the ill intentions of others.  I have a hard enough time dealing with this feeling that I’m on the wrong planet at times as I look for life and intelligence.   Yet I can hear the world itself speaking so clearly through me as it interrupts my dreams with it's call for help.   Forgive me world as I choose now to try my best to go back to sleep.  


(Forgive me reader for my stream of consciousness and lack of punctuation and what not.)


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